An Unexpected Relationship
by JackalopeUnlimited
Summary: Love is a strange thing.


So there's this guy in my class. In a word, total loser. For a while no one really knew anything about him, other than the fact that he's a friendless creep and that his eyes look like those of a dead fish.

Seriously, he is totally creepy. He's always pretending to sleep during the break. Whenever it happens he tries to lowkey stare at people and then listens in on them talking about stuff. Emphasis on tries. He thinks no one notices but we do. Thing is, nobody wanted to confront him about it though I guess I never did either. And why did no one want to confront him? Because he's creepy. See what I mean? Though that Kawasaki girl didn't seem to mind the looks. She's a loser too, so maybe losers think alike? Stick together? Wait they're supposedly 'loners' so they don't stick together. Come to think of it, she does that pretending to sleep thing too someti-

Hold on, this isn't about her. Let's get back on track.

He's also an idiot. He's always taking the writing assignments and filling them with crap which gets him called in by sensei. Then he complains when she manhandles him. If you didn't want to get manhandled, why not just write the stupid essay like everyone else? See? Total moron.

He calls himself a 'loner' but he knows a ton of people. You could almost say he was popular, if you were an idiot. Lets take a tally. Fat otaku friend? Check. Girlyboy athletic friend? Check, though its kinda worrying how he looks at him. I'd fear for Saika's chastity if I didn't know better. At least I certainly hope I do...

Anyways, he has that dumb club with two cute girls. Not as cute as me obviously but Yui is an obvious 2nd and Yukinoshita can be like 10th or so. I'm just being fair, that's all. The club actually gets a lot of requests surprisingly, since it's super embarrassing to try and ask those three for help. Through the club he met other regulars like Megurin, who is super cool, Ishikki, who is lame, and the older Yukinoshita who is a bigger bitch than her sister somehow. They also involve otaku, girlyboy, and black-lace in their club activities. That's Kawasaki by the way. I saw her underwear once when we were changing for P.E. and thus she earned that name. If she didn't look so lost around people you might think she was some delinquent skank. You know she's not much of a loner anymore either since she hangs out with-

Oh my god, why do I keep going on about Kawasaki? Focus!

Then there's the group! Ebina goes full fujoshi on him like all the time. He takes it really well all things considered. Tobe took a big liking to him for some reason, declaring him his 'total bro' to anyone who asks. Not that anyone would ask Tobe about anything. Heh, 'he' really doesn't like being called bro very much. Anyways, Hayama talks about him and the club all the time and so everyone else gets wrapped up in it too. It's almost like they became part of the group. See? He's not a loner! That's a lot of people!

Not to mention how dense he is. Poor poor Yui. She throws herself at him, sometimes literally at that, and he just can't figure it out. I think he's aware of her feelings now, but oh man he was so dumb for the longest time, literally everyone in class could see it. He's probably not interested or he would've done something, right? Yui is super cute! He probably didn't want to hurt her feelings. Yukinoshita and him act like an old married couple but she's a bitch and as dense as he is so no luck there. Ishikki tries to butt in but she's really annoying so yeah. Anyways, what kind of 'loner' has girls after him? Exactly.

Then there was the Cultural Festival. Yeah let's not go there. Fucking jerk. Though he was right, as much as I don't want to admit it.

In short, he's an idiot loser creep that's a complete asshole. But... it really isn't as bad as that sounds. It's just that despite all that, despite how he humiliated me in front of Hayama, despite how much he pissed me off... I think I love him. Gah that's so lame. Feeling this way about that guy makes me really lame too. If we're both so lame, maybe that means it could work out, right?

Anyways, it's not like I don't have a chance either. The other girls don't have the guts to say their feelings. Here's the thing though. I do.

He'll probably think it's a trick because he's an idiot. He'll probably make some excuse to leave but I won't let him. He'll probably turn me down...

I'm still going to try. No more bullshit. I'm going to be me.

He's around the corner waiting for Yui but he doesn't know that I got her to run to another class to do a 'quick' favor for me. Seriously if you push enough you can get Yui to go with almost anything, I'm kind of concerned for her future. But right now I won't let her feelings stop me. I've made up my mind.

Sorry Yui, there's no room for 2nd place. I hope you'll forgive me and we can still be friends.

[I approach]

"Hikigaya."

His eyes widen in surprise and then narrow with caution. Oi, I know I gave you the stink eye from time to time, but it's not like I ever really did anything to you.

"Sagami. What do you want?"

"I want to talk."

"I'm waiting for someone and I have club activities. In fact, I think I'll just go there right now. "

I block his path. He gives a heavy sigh.

"If you have club business please take it to the clubroom."

"Quit being an idiot. This isn't about the club, it's about you and me."

He glares at me. Woah, you're misunderstanding something here. Calm down!

"Took you long enough. But do you really want to do this here?"

"Here is fine. Nobody is going to stick around to see this."

Ahhh! I'm not helping!

"Yuigahama will be coming shortly."

"She won't, I got her to do me a favor to keep her busy."

"Tch. I really don't like how you all take advantage of her."

"It's not like I'm as bad as Miura. Besides, this is important."

"Get it over with then."

"You don't need to sound so much like you don't want to be around me."

"I don't want to be around you so just say what you need to."

"Fine. I-"

I look into his eyes, my cheeks start to flush and I get a painful feeling in my chest. Crap this seemed a lot easier before I actually had to do it.

"Yes?"

This stupid-

"Shut up and let me say it."

He rolls his eyes. Prick.

"When I got involved with the Cultural Festival, I didn't think much of it. Just a way to get some college credit without doing too much work. Organizing it was a lot harder than I thought it was. I just wanted to do enough to get by so I could be done with it, and go back to enjoying my free time with friends. What I did wasn't even enough for that in the end."

I shake my head at the thought of it.

"When Yukinoshita got involved, I ended up putting all the work off on her. It was wrong but at the time it didn't bother me, and she was doing a much better job than I was. I admit. I didn't really care about the festival though, I just got mad that she was outdoing me, that I was useless compared to her. Then you all but said it in the meeting..."

He stares unflinchingly. I look away from him. Why does it have to be so hard?

"All these feelings kept piling up. I felt like garbage but I didn't do anything to change it. So when the end of the festival came, I ran away. I wanted someone to find me. To tell me I wasn't useless, that I was needed. It seems so stupid looking back. And I almost got what I wanted. But you didn't let that happen. You called me out on it, and didn't hold anything back. I hated you for so long after that and yet, the more I thought about it, the more I realized you were right and the more I wanted to stop being like that. I guess I did get some 'personal growth' from the festival in the end, ehehe..."

I take a moment to catch my breath.

"I started to pay attention to you. To try and understand you and what makes you able to act the way you do. And that's why... after all that, I realized..."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes tightly.

"I like you! Please go out with me!"

I dare to open my eyes, he looks incredibly confused. His cheeks are slightly red. This is embarassing for me too damn it, say something!

"Are you a masochist?"

"Eh?"

A long uncomfortable silence stretches between us. Daring to look back into his eyes, I can see a million thoughts running through his mind. Finally, he opens his mouth and bows.

"I'm sorry but even though I no longer think this is some revenge ploy and have gained more respect for you, I don't feel the same way you do and I don't see how this would work out. We don't really know each other and don't really have a lot in common. It would be better for us to see other people."

That was fast! What is this rapid fire rejection? I'm not even upset just surprised.

He looks up with concern but I'm just in awe at how fast he said that.

"Impressed? It's one of my 108 loner skills. Ah, I wasn't supposed to say that out loud."

"Haah? Loner skills?"

"Yes, that particular one would be my Swift Rejection. I also have other ones, like Stealth Hikki."

"Stealth Hikki what the hell? Hahahaha!"

"Geh."

"Oh, no, keep going. Keep digging yourself deeper. Hahahaha!"

He looks at the floor in an attempt to hide his red face. It doesn't work.

I finally calm down. Ah, that embarassed face is really cute. I like this feeling. Like I can be myself around him and he'll do the same. I want more. No, I need to have more of this.

I open my mouth and speak.

"I refuse."

"Eh?"

"I refuse your rejection!"

"Um, I don't think that's how it works."

"I won't be satisfied until we go out on a date."

"That's fine and all but I'm not agreeing to anything like that."

"I'll just follow you around bothering you until you do."

"Isn't that stalking?"

"It's not. Stop being an idiot and accept already."

"Telling someone your plan and then insulting them isn't a good way to get them to do what you want."

"Right but from what we've all seen of Ishikki, if someone bugs you enough, you'll give in to save yourself the effort."

He inhales sharply through his nose and lets out a heavy sigh. Jeez, you'd think he was going to die or something instead of going on a date with a cute girl.

"Fine."

"Great, we'll meet at the main station at 2:00 on Saturday. Don't be late."

"You didn't even bother to ask if I had anything going on this weekend."

"It's fine, a gloomy guy like you probably just lays around the house."

He winces. Ouch, I was right on with that one huh?

"Cheer up, Hikigaya, I know we didn't really get off on the right foot, but things will be different this time. We're gonna get along and have fun and stuff."

"Fun, huh?"

His resigned tone betrayed a hint of interest. A far cry from his normal way of speaking. Finally he chuckles to himself.

"This is insane, it makes absolutely no sense."

"Doesn't matter. We're going to have a great time and you're going to know my feelings are real. You'll start feeling the same way soon after once you realize how great I am to be around."

"You're making some pretty big assumptions there..."

"Shut up and go along with it!"

"I already agreed."

"Good! See you then, Hikigaya."

I walk slowly around the corner and then break off into a run once I'm out of his line of sight. Holy shit, I did it!

"Waaaaah! Hikki you were waiting here for me all this time for once! I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine Yuigahama, let's go."

[Many years later]

"And that dear granddaughter, is how I met your grandmother."

"Wow, grandpa, you had all these girls throwing themselves at you and you never did anything yourself? You're a loser!"

"Quiet you little punk! It was complicated! Besides, how can I be a loser with so many girls after me?"

"They were losers too!"

"Well I can't say you're wrong there, in a manner of speaking."

I walk out onto the porch.

"Yeah, he is a loser."

"Oi, Minami."

"But he's my loser."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I'm a loser too I suppose."

"That doesn't help either."

"No, but you know I'll make it up to you later tonight, right babe?"

A warm smile crosses his face. I return it with one of my own. Our grandchild gags.

"Minami. You're annoying but I love you."

"Hachiman. You're an idiot but I love you too."

"Minami..."

"Hachiman..."

"EWWWWWW! Old people are gross!"


End file.
